In the continuing series things I wish I could make up here’s some more I wish I had done.  These are from Just a Couple of Days by Tony Vigorito.  Obviously I have different tastes than others.  Maybe you’re one of those, briefquotes.com has what they think are the top five quotes—none of them are ones I chose.

“ Well , progress . Progress ! Progress toward what ? What’s our goal ? When do we get to dust off our hands and say , ‘ Okay , done . That’ll do for now . Let’s kick back , pass a pipe , celebrate , and get down to living our lives the way they were intended to be lived ? ’ What’s progress if we can’t define the goddamn goal ?

The rat race is on a treadmill, and the axle’s about to bust. Would you run a race if you didn’t know how long it would be?

The elevator hummed an unexciting tune, monotonous and dull, like a chorus of monks meditating upon a hissing teakettle.

His pulmonary capacity could have blown a brick pighouse down.

She is simply the essence of synthetic phoniness, like a woodgrain shower curtain…

…pockets of panic were popping up like pimples during puberty.

People were freaking out like cats running from a vacuum cleaner,

… slower than an injured turtle in line at the post office during December.

Inevitably, panic was stinging my perception like a jellyfish congratulating a tourist.

It was quicker than the wink of a cheetah running full speed down a moving walkway at an airport, and after it had gone, it left not a breeze to hint at its passing.

So, ignoring the lessons of Scooby – Doo, we split up.

She is so fake that it seems like she is pretending to be an actress rehearsing for a role as an impostor.

… in a reunion embrace that would put a lump in the throat of a macho giraffe.

…the look of nonsense twinkling in her eye like an octopus dancing with a pair of polyester slacks in front of a fun house mirror.

After all, a parched man will chew another’s dirty toenails for less than a drop of contaminated water.

Sweetlicks: Isn’t there a commandment somewhere that says, “ Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain? ”  Rosehips:  “Yes, but there are no forbidden words. I know you’re a little funnier in the head than I am, but what do you think that commandment means? The name of the Judeo – Christian Ultimate Source is Yahweh. It is a form of the Hebrew verb to be. God is, and thou shalt not take the Is – ness in vain.”