I’m sure if you’re reading this you’ve heard Jimmy Buffet’s song “Pencil Thin Mustache.”  It’s supposed to be a nostalgic look at his childhood as a senior citizen.  He released the song when he was 28, so how much did he know about life as a senior citizen?  The song is on a playlist on my phone and every time it plays as soon as I hear: “Yeah, but now I’m gettin’ old, don’t wear underwear,” I wonder where did he get the idea that seniors commonly don’t wear underwear.  There’s no way you’d catch me going commando.  My urinary system is a bit leaky and it really bothers me when the last dribble runs down inside my water-resistant cargo pants into my socks (cargo because I need lots of room for my keys, wallet, glasses, phone, and geocaching tools) making my legs, pants, and socks smell like urine.  There’s no way I’d skip underwear; I’d be washing my outerwear every day.

 

In spite of that I like the song in spite the stereotypes of us seniors.  So what else is there in the song?  Here’s the lyrics (in bold) annotated by me (not in bold).

 

Now they make new movies in old black and white

With happy endings, where nobody fights

So if you find yourself in that nostalgic rage

Honey, jump right up and show your age

For the life of me I haven’t a clue why this is in the lyrics or what it means.  New movies in old black and white?  But since lyrics are poetry set to music maybe it doesn’t have to convey a crystal clear idea or concept.  Maybe it there to cause me to emote—it failed.  Clearly he never anticipated Game of Thrones where every episode ends unhappily with the inbred characters.

I wish I had a pencil thin mustache

The “Boston Blackie” kind

This is a reference to the Boston Blackie television series which ran from 1951 through 1953—before we had a TV, so I had to look this one up.  It turns out that before TV, there were quite a few Boston Blackie movies (58 to be exact) from 1918 to 1949.  Boston didn’t have a mustache let alone a pencil thin one in the movies.  But when Kent Taylor played the lead in the TV series, he had one.  As part of my rebellious nature I grew a mustache in the Marines and still have it.  Marine Corps regulations during the 20 years I was in dictated a pencil thin mustache.  It couldn’t touch your top lip or extend past the corners of your mouth.  The Marine Corps Grooming Standards and Body Composition Program also states that the “The individual length of a mustache hair fully extended must not exceed ½ inch.”

 

A two toned Ricky Ricardo jacket

 

Everyone should know that Ricky Ricardo (played by Desi Arnaz) was Lucille Esmeralda Ricardo née McGillicuddy’s (Lucille Ball) husband on the TV series I Love Lucy.  The marriage between Caucasian Lucy and Latino Ricky marked the first appearance of an interracial marriage on an American TV show; I Love Lucy debuted in 1951, sixteen years before Loving v. Virginia legalized all forms of interracial marriage in all 50 states.

 

And an autographed picture of Andy Devine

Andy played Roy Roger’s sidekick Cookie.  That was back when Roy Rogers was a film and TV show star, not a fast food restaurant.

 

Writin’ fan letters to Sky’s niece Penny

Again speak for yourself; my heart was reserved for Mickey Mouse Club’s Annette Funicello not Sky King’s daughter.

 

 

 

Oh I wish I had a pencil thin mustache

Then I could solve some mysteries too

Oh it’s Bandstand, Disneyland, growin’ up fast

Drinkin’ on a fake I.D.

 

In downstate New York we didn’t need fake IDs, we were served anywhere we went.  Maybe that was because it was New York, not Alabama where Jimmy spent his formative years.  The legal drinking age in New York at the time was 18, so of course we were practicing drinking around 15.  We commonly cut study hall in high school and went to the Newbridge Inn for pizza and beers.

And Rama of the Jungle was everyone’s Bawana

Another TV show that died before we got our first TV.

But only jazz musicians were smokin’ marijuana

Maybe in Alabama, but in New York not only were people smoking mary jane, but hashish, and doing tabs of LSD.  Louis Armstrong was famous for smoking marijuana starting in the 1920’s and then throughout his career.

But then it’s flattop, dirty bop, coppin’ a feel

Grubbin’ on the livin’ room floor (so sore)

 

I’m sure everyone has seen a veteran (active and retired) with a flattop (not me, never had one).  The bop was a dance, and coppin’ a feel and grubbing on the floor should be obvious to anyone who has gone through puberty.

Yeah, but now I’m gettin’ old, don’t wear underwear

Maybe it’s because he forgot.  Below is a survey from the Huffington Post.  Clearly not many men go commando, but the results are a bit suspicious since 3% of those surveyed said they go commando, but the total of all the men that buy underwear is 100%

 

 

I don’t go to church and I don’t cut my hair

 

This might explain why he doesn’t have a pencil thin mustache—he’s probably has a full beard knotted up with his nose and ear hairs.

 

But I can go to movies and see it all there

Just the way that it used to be

That’s why I wish I had a pencil thin mustache

The “Boston Blackie” kind, a two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket

And an autographed picture of Andy Devine

Oh, I could be anyone I wanted to be

Maybe suave Errol Flynn or a Sheik of Araby

 

I was surprised that The Sheik of Araby is a song, not a movie.  It was written in 1921 in response to the popularity of Rudolph Valentino in the film The Sheik.  Even the Beatles did a version of the song!

If I only had a pencil thin mustache

Then I could do some cruisin’ too

Yeah, Brylcreem, a little dab’ll do yah

 

Brycreem was British brand of hair styling products for men. The first Brylcreem product was a hair cream released in 1928. It’s available at Walmart!  The cream is an emulsion of water and mineral oil stabilised with beeswax.  Their byline was, “a little dab’ll do yah.”  Back in my days it was iconic of the “greaser look.”

Oh, I could do some cruisin’ too